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All
too often families today are being faced with moving a parent, or
parents, from their home to an assisted living facility. If you feel
the time has come, but your parent is digging in their heels, you might
want to arrange a meeting with them and their primary care physician.
You would of course want to call their physician and discuss this a
head of time and see what their thought are about your parent no longer
living alone.
If
they agree, then having their physician tell them (not you) that it's
no longer safe, nor a good idea for them to live alone, the better.
Seniors trust their doctors. Also, doing so takes the decision off you
so they won't think you're just trying to make your life easier. This
will be even more effective if your parent has been experiencing health
problems recently, has been hospitalized, falling, not eating properly,
etc.
If you're an only child it's always best to move your
parent closer to you. Trust me on that. If you have siblings, then as a
family unit, the decision regarding which child to move closer too
needs to be worked out among everyone. If you are the only child then
you don't have this situation to contend with. Most importantly, DO NOT
forget to take your parents feelings into account, discussing
everything with them and helping them to understand the pros and cons
of living alone.
Having personally worked in a marketing
capacity for a couple assisted living communities, meeting with
families and their loved ones during this difficult transition, I
wanted to share some helpful ideas and tips that hopefully will assist
you and your parent in making the transition as smooth as possible:
1)
Because it can be over-whelming and tiring to say the least to visit
and tour communities in your area, I recommend visiting as many as you
can first, as they can differ a lot. Once you have narrowed your search
down to a couple, then arrange to take your parent to tour, so they
have a say in where they will live.
Feeling as they are keeping
control of their lives is very important and will make the transition
easier on all. Trust me. Otherwise, a parent could feel 'dumped off'
then begin to feel be very resentful which is not what you want, nor
what your parent deserves.
2) Before touring arrange with the
marketing person for you all to also have lunch. Doing so gives
everyone an opportunity to not only try the food, but to get a good
feel to how things work, how the staff interacts with the residents,
and be able to see many of the residents at one time giving them a good
over-all picture. I would recommend doing the same at dinner time.
3)
Once a decision has been made on the community of choice, should your
parent be staying with you at this time, having moved from their home
already (or possibly they are now on a waiting list) tell the staff you
would like for your parent to spend some time over there on a weekly
basis. That could be in the form of participating in an exercise class,
Sunday bible study, a game of bridge or playing domino's, a community
outing, getting their hair done in the beauty salon, etc.
You
can always get an activities calendar to go over with your parent and
find something that sparks their interest. Arranging for something
before lunch is even better, giving them the chance to also join other
residents for lunch, talking one- on-one with them about the community.
Trust me, the residents are always more than happy to tell potential
residents 'how it is' which is a good thing.
If your parent is
unable to stay with you between the transition from moving from their
home, to the assisted living community, visiting on a weekly basis
won't work. But obviously if they can, the better. You will likely be
asked to pay for the lunch and possibility the activity (depending on
what it is) but the fee is minimal and well worth it.
After
picking them up you'll then have the opportunity to discuss how
everything went. You might also want to consider arriving early and
observe from a far how they are interacting with others, and doing
over-all.
The point is, whether their on a waiting list or not,
doing these small things will make the transition much easier. Moving
in cold, not knowing anyone, or having any idea what to expect can be
very stressful. This way, they have the opportunity to see how nice it
is dining with others, being involved, and have others in their peer
group vs. being home alone.
 Consumer Checklist for Assisted Living
As
you assess assisted living residences, you will likely visit a number
of communities. Consider the following questions to evaluate each
community provided by the Assisted Living Federation of America: www.alfa.org
Atmosphere
* Are additional services available if the resident's needs change?
* Is there a procedure to pay for additional services like nursing care when the services are needed on a temporary basis?
* Are there different costs for various levels or categories of services?
* Do billing, payment, and credit policies seem fair and reasonable?
*
May residents handle their own finances with staff assistance if able,
or should a family member or outside party be designated to do so?
* Are residents required to purchase renters' insurance for personal property in their units?
* Is there an appeals process for dissatisfied residents?
Medication & Health Care
*
Does the residence have specific policies regarding storage of
medication, assistance with medications, training and supervision of
staff, and record keeping?
* Is self-administration of medication allowed?
*
Is there a staff person to coordinate home health care visits from a
nurse, physical therapist, occupational therapist, etc. if needed?
* Is staff available to assist residents who experience memory, orientation, or judgment losses?
* Does the residence have a clearly stated procedure for responding to a resident's medical emergency?
* Does a physician or nurse visit residents regularly to provide medical checkups?
* To what extent are medical services available, and how are these services provided?
Physical Features of the Residence
* Is the community well-designed for your needs?
* Is the floor plan easy to follow?
* Are doorways, hallways, and rooms accommodating to wheelchairs and walkers?
* Are elevators available for those unable to use stairways?
* Are handrails available to aid in walking?
* Are cupboards and shelves easy to reach?
* Are floors of non-skid material and carpets firm to ease walking?
* Does the residence have good natural and artificial lighting?
* Is the residence clean, free of odors, and appropriately heated/cooled?
* Does the residence have sprinklers and clearly marked exits?
* Does the residence have a means of security if a resident wanders?
Needs Assessments, Contracts, Costs & Finances
*
Is a contractual agreement available that discloses health-care and
supportive services, all fees, as well as admission and discharge
provisions? What are the policies for refunds and transfers?
* Is there a written plan for the care of each resident?
*
Does the residence have a process for assessing a potential resident's
need for services and are those needs addressed periodically?
* Does
this process include the resident, and his or her family and facility
staff, along with the potential resident's physician.
* Are there any government, private, or corporate programs available to help cover the cost of services to the resident?
* Are additional services available if the resident's needs change?
* Is there a procedure to pay for additional services like nursing care when the services are needed on a temporary basis?
* Are there different costs for various levels or categories of services?
* Do billing, payment, and credit policies seem fair and reasonable?
*
May residents handle their own finances with staff assistance if able,
or should a family member or outside party be designated to do so?
* Are residents required to purchase renters' insurance for personal property in their units?
* Is there an appeals process for dissatisfied residents?
Services Offered
* Is staff available to meet scheduled and unscheduled needs?
* Can the residence provide a list of services available?
* Is staff available to provide 24-hour assistance with activities of daily living if needed?
* Does the residence provide housekeeping services in residents' units?
* Can residents arrange for transportation on fairly short notice?
* Are pharmacy, barber/beautician, and/or physical therapy services offered onsite?
*
Does the residence provide transportation to doctors' offices, the
hairdresser, shopping, and other activities desired by residents?
Individual Unit Features
* Are different sizes and types of units available?
* Are units for single and double occupancy available?
* Do residents have their own lockable doors?
* Is a 24-hour emergency response system accessible from the unit?
* Are bathrooms private and designed to accommodate wheelchairs and walkers?
* Are residents able to bring their own furnishings for their unit? What may they bring? What is provided?
* Do all units have a telephone and cable or satellite TV? How is billing handled?
* Is a kitchen area provided with a refrigerator, sink, and cooking element?
* May residents keep food in their units?
* May residents smoke in their units? In public spaces?
* May residents decorate their own units?
Social & Recreational Activities
*
Is there evidence of organized activities, such as a posted daily
schedule, events in progress, reading materials, visitors, etc.?
* Do residents participate in activities outside of the residence in the neighboring community?
* Does the residence have its own pets?
* Are residents' pets allowed in the residence? Who is responsible for their care?
* Do volunteers, including family members, come into the residence to help with or to conduct programs?
* Does the residence create a sense of community by encouraging residents to participate in activities?
Food Service
* Do dining room menus vary from day to day and meal to meal?
* Does the residence provide three nutritionally balanced meals a day, seven days a week?
* Are snacks available?
* May a resident request special foods, and can the residence accommodate special dietary needs?
* Are common dining areas available?
* May residents eat meals in their units?
* May meals be provided at a time a resident would like, or are there set times for meals?
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